You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
