Ambien. No doubt about it.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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