And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
