Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
