i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
There's even glitter on my cock...
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