the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
