Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
