names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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