Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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