Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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