I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
