now i know why i became what i already was.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
