I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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