Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Randomize
