do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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