So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
smell my finger.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
