3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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