hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
ok first of all what the fuck
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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