I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
