OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
