i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
You may now shotgun with the bride
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
