um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
