this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
