How's work?
Spinning.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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