i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
