My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
im six kinds of drunk right now
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
