I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
