Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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