I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
