Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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