I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
After last night, I could never be a politician.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
