I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
