Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
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