who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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