we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
it hurts more in the daytime
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
