i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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