Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Randomize
