I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
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