what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
