New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
