After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
