I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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