he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
