nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Randomize
