he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
