found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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