i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
