I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
