I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
This house was built for laser tag.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
