drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
They have beer where we have blood.
Randomize
