this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Randomize
