He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
So much Jack, so little girl.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
